When Life Gives You Parallel Emotions

For the most part, I would consider myself to be an optimist. I choose to look on the sunny side of life. But feeling immense happiness and weeping at the same time seems so incongruous. It’s an odd fit.

This past month has been a series of beginnings and endings. My middle child, Julianna, graduated college. It was a big milestone for her and of course, for us. A mixed bag of emotions~~tremendous pride because she is such a beautiful individual with so much to offer our world; a deep joy in watching her success; a sense of accomplishment that we have gotten yet another child through college; and sadness that life seems to be going so fast. Wasn’t it just yesterday that she was sitting on my lap as I was reading her a bedtime story?

Our youngest daughter, Elisabeth had her senior prom. Geez, I remember my senior prom like it was yesterday. She has grown up to be a lovely young woman, full of excitement about her future. College decisions are made, finals are around the corner, and she will be off to start her new life in August. Our son flew home for the festivities and the nest was full. So was my heart.

We were able to spend even more time with our son, Benjamin during a recent business trip to Washington, DC. He took me to his new office. Boy, have things changed! His workplace was more like a fine hotel, 5 star restaurant, state of the art gym facilities and desks that move when you do. So exciting for him….and I am so happy and proud.

Our Nation’s capital never disappoints as we walked the Mall during one warm evening.

My heart is bursting with pride that we have 3 marvelous individuals that we are giving to the world. But with that comes a sense sadness that is a new experience for me. Where did all the years go?

Motherhood has been the best job of my life. I’ve been a corporate executive, a small business owner and have volunteered countless hours. I know that my role as mother will continue, albeit in a different way, but I feel like I am being fired from the best job I’ve ever had.

I am also realizing that I am now on the back side of the bell curve where graduating college, getting my first job, looking forward to love are all behind me. My youth and many “firsts” are in the rear view mirror.

What new things will I be able to look forward to and get excited about? What will my journey look like? It feels like I am straddling two boats and know soon I will need to lift my foot from one only to plant it firmly on the other. This in between time is certainly an interesting one. Being so happy and sad at the same time is a bit unsettling.

For those of you who have experienced this, I would gladly welcome your perspective. Things are changing rapidly. I DO know that I will come out on the other side~~I’m just not sure what the other side will be.