Kindness
Is anyone else noticing an increase in rude behavior in the world? This past weekend we were at our cabin in the mountains for Labor Day. It is a wonderful community and has been for as long as we’ve owned a cabin there.
On Saturday night, there was an outdoor concert at the clubhouse. It was a beautiful evening with music and dinner. Two women mistakenly thought I “cut” in front of them on our way to pick up our meal. They instantly attacked me in such an aggressive way. Quite frankly, I was speechless at the intensity of their anger. Fortunately, another kind soul witnessed it and was equally appalled.
So I think it is time again to share my post on Kindness. Is it a post-COVID behavior or are people just so unhappy? It feels so uncivilized to me to lash out at someone you don’t even know, without giving someone the benefit of the doubt. What have we become if we cannot be kind to each other?
Kindness is one of those things that spans all barriers~~socio-economic, education, language, age and religion. It costs NOTHING yet its benefits are priceless. It may be easy when someone is mean or cruel to react in the same way. But kindness is the opposite. Its effects can lower the temperature of a situation or put wind under someone’s wings.
Kindness has been top of mind lately because I seem to see less and less of it in today’s world.
When recalling kind gestures that have left an indelible mark on me, two come to mind. They both came at a time when I had experienced great loss.
A few years back, my Dad came to live with us in Phoenix after my Mom passed away. Our more moderate winter weather and sunshine seemed the perfect remedy for Dad vs. grieving alone in the cold Connecticut winter.
Unfortunately, after 5 months, in May 2015, he passed away here in our home. When the funeral home came to pick up his body, we watched these two strangers enter into this extremely personal and difficult time. They carefully and gracefully wrapped my father’s body in a beautiful tapestry cloth. When they were getting ready to move him onto the gurney, one of the men slowly tapped my Dad’s leg, as if to say, “Hey, buddy. It’s time to go and we will take good care of you”. It was such a simple act, but letting my Dad go emotionally was hard enough.
But that simple, loving gesture, allowed me to entrust a total stranger with my Dad, the man who has known me the longest. A man I had loved all my life. It was so respectful and done with great love.
The other kind gesture that I will remember forever was right after my first husband died. I was in my mid 30’s and we were having a second memorial service for him back in my home town. I went to get my nails done at a local salon/spa mostly because I needed an hour with a change of scenery. The nail person began working on my rather sad looking nails and we were making small talk about the weather, etc.
She then looked up from what she was doing and asked, “So how are you”? And the tears began. I was sobbing, you know, that uncontrollable kind. The kind of crying where you can’t even talk. She stopped what she was doing and just held my hands. It took me quite sometime to stop blubbering but until I did, she quietly and warmly held my hands in hers. Finally I was able to say, “I’m so sorry but my husband just passed away”. She squeezed my hands and offered her condolences and then handed me a tissue. Nothing more than that. It was the kindest thing anyone could have done for me at that time.
These are such small but enormous acts of random kindness from people I had never known and will never see again. But they taught me that being kind doesn’t have to be grandiose or public. Sometimes a simple touch, hug, soothing word or tone can have a monumental impact. I’m sure neither of them know how much their self-less gestures meant to me. See how something so small can be so BIG.
We never know why someone is acting rude or upset or why they have chosen to take it out on us. But we don’t have to send that behavior back. Maybe asking a simple question, “I’m sorry but it looks like you are having a bad day” or paying a compliment with a smile, would be a better response. I don’t want to perpetuate negative energy. Instead, I want to change it and be part of the solution. Those who are mean and angry need our prayers.
Imagine a world where for one day, everyone was kind. Wouldn’t that be amazing? But kindness comes from within~~each and every one of us can choose to be kind. Please think about that the next time a negative thought or word is getting ready to leave your body. We can make a difference, one kind act at a time.
Sending kind and loving thoughts your way.
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This really hit me, Mary. I thank you so much for writing this post. I think it’s how many people are feeling. There is just so much anger wherever you go. I can just imagine one day of everyone being kind. What an amazing day that would be. I would like to feature this in my Saltwater Sounds post this weekend.
Kim, sorry for the delay in responding but I am so glad you enjoyed this post. I wish we could start a national campaign to change the current climate….Thanks for sharing in your Saltwater Sounds post…which I just love!
Upon my word, Mary, that is so beautifully written. Wow. How poignant. You should get this published. Seriously. It is THAT good.
As far as the world today – yes, ma’am, we need more kindness…..much, much more. Thank goodness for those kindness givers. There is a special place in heaven for each and every one of them.
Thank you for such a wonderful post. Stay well.
Michele, you are soooo sweet. Thank you for your very kind comments.
Such a beautiful post. I couldn’t agree more, we definitely need more kindness in the world. Hugs and blessings to you
Hi Mary – I saved this post to read when I had a moment to myself and I’m so glad I did. I need to share a tiny secret with you – it was you that gave me such sweet kindness and I’m sure you had no idea how it made me feel…it was a Mastermind all-day class – a Saturday in Texas…I was so frightened to go…it was expensive to travel by air and then hire a car, I didn’t know anyone there, I had never done anything like this…I was feeling so insecure and then I sat next to you…your warm smile and kind words were just what I needed to relax a bit and enjoy the experience. Kindness. I am so thankful that there is still kindness in this world. Thank you for your lovely reminder of the importance of kindness.
Jeanne, I clearly remember that day….feeling a bit like the oldest person in the group. But I recall having such fun with you as we both felt like deer in headlights! I, too, had never done that before and it was the beginning of wonderful friendships with fellow bloggers. I am so glad we met that day.
Thank you Mary for reminding us about “kindness”. I keep a small book on my coffee table entitled “Be Kind” (Willow Creek Press). I need a lot of reminding. One of my favorite quotes from the book is “Be The Reason Someone Smiles Today”.
There are rude people everywhere but I do notice a difference between the Coasts and the Midwest when it comes to the numbers of encounters I have with “kind” centered people.
Felicia, I hope we never reach the time where being rude is the norm. We all deserve so much better than that. Next time, I may just ask someone if they are having a bad day…or even a bad year. Unfortunately the sting of unkindness seems to last longer than the warmth of kindness.
Wow this post even got me to finally reply. Thank you Mary for this post on kindness and for everyone who also added their comments. I truly believe that one act of kindness can be greater and be more powerful than even many acts of unkindness. It is because of the multiple effect that the one kind act can have…it can change one and make for a rippling effect to then make that recipient of the kind act spread it… Thank you Mary for your blog and you seem like just the nicest person!
Harriet, I am so happy we got to hear your voice with this post! You are so right! We all need to do an act of kindness and then each recipient needs to pass it on. I am still optimistic that most people prefer to be civilized and kind….Thank you for taking the time to comment.
Thank you Mary for your lovely post. I’m so sorry for this rude experience you encountered. I too am seeing more rudeness in our region. Whatever the reason, it seems people choose not to control their utterances, and even more frightening, sometimes become physical over seemingly petty things. I too am baffled! I continue to say my prayers, and appreciate reminders of being kind. Your stories were so heartfelt, and certainly touched my heart❣ God Bless
Sue, I am praying more than ever in hopes that the good continues to outweigh the bad. I believe it does..unfortunately those rude encounters seem to stick with us longer. Thank you for taking the time to comment. Have a lovely day.
Hebrews 13.2. It will cost you nothing to be kind, greeting a stranger with a good morning and a smile may be the only kind words that person has heard in days. There are angels all around us, we just need to pay attention.
Lynn, Well said!
Mary, I’m sorry you had such an uncomfortable experience. Thank you for reminder that kindness costs nothing and means everything. I’m sending you hugs.
Flo, so good to hear from you. It’s funny how rudeness from a few can sting and linger. So unexpected, especially in such a wonderful environment. Sending hugs back!
Mary this was wonderful. May I share it in my Sunday favorites?
Cindy, absolutely! Thank you!
When my dad passed away in my parents’ home outside of Phoenix the men from the funeral home who came to pick him up and, like your dad, wrapped him in a tapestry. At such a sad time I found it to be a lovely gesture and was in a way a comfort. Four years later when my mom passed away in their home the men from the funeral home wrapped her in a beautiful quilt. These seemingly small gestures mean so much,.
Suzanne, I wonder if we used the same funeral home? I, too, found it to be such a wonderful touch.
I hope the members who witnessed and by being silent became part of the rude behavior were embarrassed by these women. They should be ashamed of themselves. Thank you for reminding us what it means to be kind.
Kindness is a gift that we can all give and it means so much to those that are hurting or in need. Being sensitive to others is often the right prescription for better understanding.
John, such true words!
YOU should read my POST that is up NOW!
PEOPLE are angry and full of ME ME ME these days……..THATS AMERICA TODAY!
It is ALL SO SAD!
La Contessa, just read your post. Sorry you are experiencing the same rude behavior. What the heck is happening?
You are 100% correct, people have become very rude. People seem to have less self control these days because of the negativity going on in the world and with our country. But it is no excuse to lash out and become unkind. I don’t experience it often where I live but sometimes when someone pushes my button or talks to me in a way I don’t want to be talked to, they get words from (a former New Yorker) that makes them take a step back. I never take out my bad day on anyone else unless they are causing it.
Karen, it is sad that this is happening nation-wide. I wish there was a way to stop it.
I m sooo sorry you heard hurtful words. It crushes our day and we get so disappointed. Unknowingly God will bring something in your life that will resurrect that tenderness that there is more good people than people who are cruel. Let’s continue influencing people around us with the love we want to receive and we can help someone as those that showed you kindness at your lowest times
You are so right! Let’s spread the joy and love we have.
A moving post and much appreciated. post. There is much rudeness now and I don’t know why…it should be the other way around in these times we are living in.
I hope we all share the love and kindness of each day we have been given.
Blessings,
I’m so sorry that happened to you Mary. And yes…people are more rude. I had an encounter last week with a woman who has no clue how obnoxious and offensive she sounded.
Stacy, I just have to pray for those who are so unhappy and mean. I just don’t get it.
Such a beautiful reminder Mary. It seems more apparent than ever that people are stressed and impatient and lash out or criticize impulsively. Your timely message brought tears to my eyes. When we experience a great loss, we learn that others may be experiencing something equally profound and if we just listen with our hearts, we can offer comfort and kindness. Thank you!
Melody, so well said!
It was this original post that made me know we needed to be friends! Thank you for all the inspiration and kindness you’ve given me – and the world!
Barbara, if a blog post brought you into my life, then I am one lucky person! Thank you, friend.
Thanks so much for that beautiful, inspirational message. We reap many benefits from kindness and hopefully, others lives can be changed by it in some way also.
Kindness…such a simple act can make such a difference in another persons day. Something as simple as a smile or a “good morning” to a stranger can be a spark of light to them. Thank you for your words which has made me look for more ways to spread kindness.
Mary, you have touched a nerve . I’m sure all your followers are re-evaluating their thoughts and impulses. I know I am. It’s so easy to snap back or complain to someone’s boss or not leave an appropriate tip. I try to “walk in another’s shoes,” but itdoes take thought.
Thank you for raising this important lesson we all need to take to heart.
Why is kindness hard to show? A smile is simple. My mom always said kindness will hurt worst than being rude back to a person. I’ve always said LOVE is the greatest thing in the world! Thanks for your kind and loving thoughts!
Most of us allow a person in line behind us proceed if they only have an item or two. When I do this the person most always says thank you! My response is “Pass it on, tag you’re it!” Often, that starts a short conversation about doing a good deed or favor. When I am in Coronado, CA during the summer, I see a lot of Navy personnel as the Navy base is located there. Our grocery store makes great deli sandwiches and it is not uncommon to be in the checkout line with a Navy guy or gal holding a sandwich waiting to check out. I ask where ‘home’ is to start a conversation. Then I say, “I bet your Mom made a lot of sandwiches for you growing up…. so this Mom is buying your lunch today.” Then I hand it to the check out person to ring up. The Navy person usually protests but I insist. A sandwich, some chips and a drink will not affect my wallet, but maybe it makes someone far from home feel appreciated. Linda R
Such nice deeds! We used to have a gift card going at Dutch Brothers so police officers wouldn’t have to purchase their own coffee~~all neighbors could contribute. You have reminded me that we should start gestures like that again.
Such a moving post! I love this and am inspired. I’m traveling tomorrow, which doesn’t bring out the best in me or anyone else. I’ll remember this!
Traveling can be the worst! Wishing you a safe and uneventful trip full of kindness!
What a wonderful post. Thank you, Mary, for reminding me about kindness.